Do you ever sit down and wonder just why things work the way they do? I don’t mean how your t.v. works or the motion of the stars. Something much more complicated – the human experience. No, haha, I don’t actually *think* that I can even scratch the surface of that topic without writing tomes... which I could do, but isn’t really appropriate or needed here... that being said, a collection of assorted blogs over time could turn into a masterpiece... I will think on that in due time. For now, however, I will land myself on I guess you could say part one of many. Tonight in “Stew’s Humanity Guide” we will take a brief look at dating and relationships... more on this in continued editions.
In relationships and dating there are really two largely popular schools of thought. Regardless of the person, I would say that 96% of Americans belong to either A, let things come as they may and will not look for anything, or B, I make things happen and actively look for something. The other 4% I feel are either not looking for anything, by religious choice and whatnot, or are a combination of the two. From an objective standpoint there are positives and negatives to each side. By and large, realists are usually more like A and idealists are more like B, with the cynics and pessimists taking sides that they identify with more. While I will not being going in extreme depth this edition on the two sides, I will scratch a little past the surface.
A realistic view of dating and relationships is one that treats many people well. One of its strongest positive aspects is that there is no worry about having someone there. Many of the people with this viewpoint are comfortable on their own, and often happy by themselves. No, these aren’t loaners... not usually anyway. These more often than not are successful, intelligent and more independent. Having dates or being in a relationship is not of utmost importance, and as such it is not something that is actively pursued. Not to say that these people are not lovers, wives, husbands, or caring people, but just to note that dating/relationships are not core aspect of their view of a good world. The only noticeable down sides to this view are of course, the realization... realists of course... that there is probably no ‘the one’ and as such can not be happy, and that some hold little value of dating and relationships because its just one day at a time.
The idealists’ view of dating and relationships also treats many well. Its strongest point is the hope...they are idealists after all... that things will work beautifully. Many of the followers of this viewpoint are more reserved... possibly shyness... but more so a general unspoken worry of rejection. While more people on average that are realistic are successful and intelligent, there is no shortness of those same traits in idealism. It’s important to see the biggest difference here is the strong feeling of a want or need to be dating or in a relationship. It’s a compulsion in some, a large distraction in others. Followers of this plan are more likely to either be dependent, needy, clingy, or some other social faux pa. This stems from a grained-in want to have someone by their side. The biggest downsides to this are an emotional rollercoaster of happiness and sadness, and that many will put forth effort in dead end relations to try and save what may have been there and is now no longer.
It is difficult to talk about realism and idealism without also looking at general views of dating and the ‘one.’ Each person has their own view on dating... There are as many views as colors in the spectrum. The big change or development related to this would be that being a gentleman isn’t something that is expected as it used to be. Most important is that sex is no longer a subject hidden away. By saying being a gentleman isn’t something expected I meant that many would find it odd to have a man date a single woman at a time. By date I do not mean relationship. By date I mean two people going out to enjoy each other without an established relationship. Gender roles and sex rules have changed and with it the rules of the game, for those who play. At that same point, you have to play to win. I do not endorse playing games, but my games edition is one to not miss!
The ‘one’ has been women and men’s motivator for eons. The possibility of someone being perfect for you just sitting there is the reason of the large number of discussions over time. Many idealists view that there may be ONE or TWO perfect matches for you in the country and as such tend to disappoint early in relationships. Many realists do not believe in the ‘one’ and feel that realistically there are X number of people in a given population, by average, that would be great for the individual. Both theories center on the ability to find a partner and differ only in the method...and as such it makes finding someone with the same beliefs more important.
No this guide isn’t finished... but I am... for now. Sweet dreams all.
No comments:
Post a Comment